Clean

A salesman came to our house today to demonstrate a water purifying system. The whole experience was estimated to last up to an hour, according to the guy who set it up and promised us a $20 gift card to Home Depot. We were 2 hours deep into this pitch before the guy even started talking about the cost... He had a lot to prove. Unfortunately for him, a lot of it relied on us being average, "hygienic" Americans. One part of our discussion sounded something not much unlike this:

Salesman: How much do you spend on groceries each week?
C: ...$75 a week?
Man: Ok [punching numbers into calculator]. 25% of that budget should be how much you spend on your "cleaning bill"... $18 per week...$80 each month
C & D: [confused looks]
C: Umm...
D: Noo...
C: We don't spend that much. Maybe... $10 each month.
D: Yeah. Ten...
Man: [puzzled] Oh, that includes your soaps, shampoos, bathroom and household cleaners, laundry detergent...?
C & D: [smirking]
D: We use a lot less of that stuff than the average household. We don't do a lot of laundry.
C: I don't wash my hair.
Man: [look of concern and abject horror] You don't wash your hair? It's because you don't like the feeling of the hard water--
C: No, I think it's 'cause I just don't care.
Man: [trying to save this] That's okay. We're all different.
--
The actual conversation was a lot funnier because it was longer and involved us fumbling over a padded description of our lifestyle, while he was trying to keep the ball rolling about his point about saving money. According to their literature, the average household spends $12-15/week on their "cleaning bill." I think we agreed that we spent $10 a month on cleaning products... I'm still convinced that is a liberal estimation...

I don't know if I should spend some time giving an explanation of our unusual/atypical habits. I guarantee this lifestyle would (will?) change dramatically if (when?!) a baby joins up and completes our nuclear family unit. Until then, we will wear most of our clothes multiple times before a wash, and showers will be on an as-needed basis.

garden, mud hole

tomatoeshot peppersyellow squashzucchchamomilezinniapurple coneflowersalvia...?hydrangeadaylilypatiopool party

Movies--yeah, that's right, plural

So, you know that a weekend is all about relaxing when you watch two movies in one day, where one of those is a matinee at the theater. We never go to the theater.

First one up: Away We Go, starring John Krazinskisifksi (The Office) and Maya Rudolf (SNL). Thumbs up for this movie--a romantic comedy that drags you along the bizarre and bumpy travels of the two protagonists as they struggle to start a new life for themselves. Seriously, some of the parts had me R.O.T.F.L.M.A.O.-ing, or as much as possible considering we were in a theater at 10 in the morning. But I was laughing so hard I was crying at least at one point. No joke. Although it really mellos out at the end, it's a feel-good type movie, where you leave with the sublime feeling of love and understanding, though you also wish there was some more closure to put all your questions to rest. It's really easy to fall in love with both characters and it made me feel really lovey-dovey afterwards. Like, wanting to one-up Krazinski's unconventional charm, unquestionable loyalty, and hilarious attempts at chivalry. The characters are quirky and exagerrated, and fortunately the irony is a little more understated than comparable film, Juno. The soundtrack throughout is mostly music of a guy named Alexi Murdoch (who I easily mistook for Nick Drake)... just listen to his music to get an idea of the mood of the film.

In keeping with the NBC celebrity comedian theme, we then rented Dan In Real Life, starring Steve Carell (The Office). Nevermind the fact that I was drinking wine while watching this--I'm classy--but I thought this was a great movie. Great. What a great choice. It was painfully romantic and well done throughout: the story, the acting... At no point did I feel like anything was over the top, with the exception of the turning point towards the end. Bam! Gut-wrenching romance in your face. You totally absorb Carell's character and you fall in love with the French woman... was she French? No? Oh well. She was French to me. I highly recommend some microwave popcorn and a tall glass of wine with this one. Haha, holy ish--who do I sound like?

Saturday

A glorious weekend to spend at home and nothing to do!

Granted, we can always find some stuff to get done; but, fortunately for me and my back, the earliest we can have patio stones and paver sand delivered is Monday. This means I was able to spend part of the morning pulling out an overgrown shrub from my backyard (sorry back), bike to the gym, run at the gym, and bike to lunch. Now I'm at home, soaking up air conditioning and reveling in the fact that I have nothing to do for the next few hours.

Moreover, Carlyn realized our friend Jordan (of Jordan O' Jordan) is playing at the Columbus Community Festival downtown, so hopefully we'll go see him tonight.
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OMG-WTF

Holy F balls--what is up with Gov. Mark Sanford sneaking to Argentina to meet with his mistress... without telling anyone he was going anywhere...? What a douche bag.

Bill Clinton, John Edwards, that one guy from New York who paid lots and lots of money to prostitutes... These guys are clueless. Public figures. Like, my mind is blown right now about this Sanford guy. I don't even know--or care--who he governs over. It doesn't matter. A freaking idiot. Beyond the basic poor judgment involved in cheating on your wife, leaving the country, for a week!, on tax-payers' dime, without telling someone?!
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Meanwhile, President Ahmadinjead is boo-hoo'ing about Obama, and that makes me want to laugh, cause it seems like he might very well be a corrupt guy and then he gets bent out of shape about Obama talking about the violence against protesters?
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And if things didn't seem any crazier, Farrah Fawcett AND Michael Jackson died today. What?! I wish I knew what was up with that crazy dude, Michael Jackson. Like, crazy mystery of the universe.
--
I'm gonna go shrink away from this crazy world and into a bowl of Velveeta cheese-smothered chicken and a glass of wine.

Peeeep

Spring Peeper (Pseudacris crucifer)

Spent the last two days climbing up and down crazy steep slopes, in and out of old mine ponds, fighting with multiflora rose and black raspberry bushes, sweating away layers of bug spray and sunscreen, while trying to avoid poison ivy, ticks, mosquitoes, and dying.

I'm learning how to deal with days like these--and that usually means coffee for the drive, packing an extra sandwich (and carrots, which seem to offer good hydration, believe it or not), a couple bottles of water plus a sugary sports drink, lots of bug spray, 50 SPF sunscreen, long sleeves, thick pants, a ball cap... and, if I'm lucky, a candy bar (thanks wife!).

Despite the conditions, which sometimes seem hellish, it's not unusual that we stumble upon little, fascinating creatures like this tiny spring peeper and a million of his or her peeper friends and family. Snakes, turtles, salamanders... colorful woodland birds (like the common yellowthroat)... mastodons and terradactyls--wait, no. Even plant life can be as awe-inspiring as the animals that seek refuge in the places we find ourselves.

So, while I might complain about my job, I'm pretty lucky in many ways that I have the one that... I have.

Fashion Fit

Big ups to Brandi (Get Buck) for posting this brief article/discussion about clothing. Consumerist: Why the Fashion Industry Can't Make Clothes That Fit Actual People.

Apparently, a wave of designers are halting production of "plus-sized" clothing lines. Unfortunately I don't have the time or patience to navigate through all of the discussion, but have meandered a bit through the replies and found some interesting view points:

"It may or may not be a feminist issue. I have no idea. But it is certainly not a consumer issue, big or otherwise. No one is under any obligation to sell what you want... [we are not] owed what we want and no one is obligated to make and sell it."

"[T]he retailers they're talking [about] deal with semi-high end brands. Thus it doesn't really matter what the average "American" is. They are catering to their 'average rich person' demographic."

"It's not semi-high end, though; it's pure middle America chainworld mall-land. It's absolutely where that average figure shops. ...[W]e tend to assume everybody else is doing just fine and it's just us getting screwed, when, as this thread indicates, everybody has a tough time buying off the rack. And to be honest, I get that it's up to a store to carry what it wants and I'm not really likely to be offended by their decision not to market to me. It's just kind of puzzling that there are so many people keen to buy clothes in these sizes and so few retailers interested in doing so."

C and I also get bummed out that popular stores don't cater to our body types. Pants aren't long enough; the smallest waist size is still too big; shirts are too short or too wide. It's apparent that everyone has a long list of complaints.

Part of the problem is--as I see it--that we are falling victim by believing that these popular, nation-wide chain stores are producing clothing to fit everyone. Also, we hope to fit into everything off the hanger.

Unfortunately, the truth is that clothing lines have apparently accepted a certain range of heights and sizes and produce clothes for that range. I'm assuming they also produce different sizes in different quantities based on "market research." This means I can't buy pants from JCrew; I can't buy shirts at Old Navy; Dick's Sporting Goods and Kohls rarely has men's small athletic pants and shorts in stock. And don't get me started on vanity labelling! [Seriously, I wear a 28" waist at Gap and 32" in Dickies.] I've learned what companies fit me, and am overly cautions when seeking out some new article of clothing. It REALLY sucks when cool, small companies can't afford to offer me clothing in sizes that will fit me. It sucks when I think about it, but generally isn't high up on my concerns list.

In fact I have a way of dealing with this: good old fashion D.I.Y. modification. Not only do we expect clothes to fit us, but we expect the clothing look good too. That is as big of a problem in my eyes. I've been so disappointed with all the shit that clothing companies put out. There is one way to fix it though: modification. Cut some pants into shorts, re-hem a shirt, spray paint on some fabric, alter the elastic, whatever! This was my standard M.O. in high school when getting "scene points" had everything to do with being around and being creative. I wasn't satisfied with anything unless I had modified it in some way [Quick tangent: one big criticism of Punk sub-culture is that "punks" are as uniform and unoriginal as their mainstream counterparts. False! Punk kids learn to be creative with their style and despite looking similar, remain very individualistic. And I'm not talking about an un-modified wardrobe straight outta' Hot Topic. Thoughts?] And it continues today. Just recently, C helped me modify a hat I purchased to fit my abnormally large dome a bit better.

I'll agree, it's not as easy to self-tailor a waist on some pants and you can't necessarily start designing and creating clothing, especially using some of the cool fabrics and technologies that are seen in the market. But we need to stop relying so heavily on mainstream chains to satisfy everyone and we need to start being creative about how we take care of ourselves--in this case, getting dressed.

I think, above all, this discussion obviates the need and demand for new designers and retailers in the market. Get your entreprenuership on and fulfill this demand. Sure, Capitalism can be a dick, but it can also be a good way to satisfy demand and get paid. Right?

Bugs, Animals, Compassion

I've been seeing small praying mantises around the garden lately when I've been pulling weeds. Pretty awesome.

Besides the fact that mantises are (1) great insect control and (2) amazing in appearance, they are believed to be good omens, harbingers of luck. On that first note, I should clarify, while they will prey on unwanted insects like mosquitoes, they will also feed on beneficial garden insects too...

While I'm on the subject of "bugs," I almost stepped on this buddy today: a Giant Leopard Moth (Hypercompe scribonia).
I feel bad for disrupting him so much--In transit back to my office I realize I caused many of the powdery scales to fall off his wing tips (Moths are from the taxonomic order Lepidoptera--which also includes butterflies; lepido- means scales and -ptera means wings). As far as I understand, this could hinder his ability to fly. Ever again. Crap.

I guess this points me in the direction of a post I had been contemplating for a while now which is about how my dog Alden is inspiring a compassion in me towards all non-human animals that is more profound than ever before. I mean, this compassion is strongly directed toward mammals, but certainly includes those other members of the Animal Kingdom. A few weeks ago I was hiking up a steep slope in the woods, up from a stream (it's my job!), and noticed that a few feet above me a TINY fawn was curled up in a ball as if to hide from approaching danger. All you could see was a fuzzy brown ball with white spots and two pointy ears poking up from the head that was tucked into its body that was hardly hiding in the few forbs of the forest floor. I could see its ears were twitching and alert and the fawn must have been terrified and unsure about what to do. What amazed me was that this baby deer was no bigger than my 23-pound puppy. I just wanted to pick it up and let it rest in my lap like Alden does, and console it: let it know we weren't going to harm it; that it was safe.

Alden can be a huge jerk. A lot. Like, he acts out--and it's probably just play. But sometimes I get mad. But to think about him getting hurt and in the times when he is sick, I feel such pain inside--it breaks my heart. The bond I've formed with Alden is as strong as the closest ones that I've formed with any other person and it's pretty amazing. And the fact that he is a (non-human) animal has inspired me to translate that compassion, like I said, to other animals. So I get sappy over plump little songbirds that bop around on our deck; or a young calf that follows its mother through the field; or the... whatever. And I get really bummed out when I see a beautiful creature that is hurt or killed, like the Cedar Waxwing that died in front of our bank, probably because it crashed into the window thinking it was sparring with another male that was really just its own reflection.

So, what was going to be a couple sentences about praying mantises turned out to be this longer rant about compassion. Back to work!

White House Garden + critic

Wowie. On a brief search to find out why my parents' container garden is "not growing" as fast as expected I stumbled upon this unfortunate editorial: Liberal Common Sense: The Obama Victory Garden Not Growing on Me.

Go ahead and read the original article.

This author feels pretty threatened by the Obama garden, but stands strong: "I won't feel guilty about not having a backyard garden, if I were to come across an extra $200 to spend on one? I probably still wouldn't because I support local farmers..."

Apparently, the fact that Michelle Obama didn't go the extra mile and make the White House lawn a community garden really gets this woman's guff. It's a justice issue. She argues that some people don't have $200 to spend on plants (let alone the fact that a packet of tomato seeds cost me less than $3 and will yield, I'm guessing, 30 pounds of produce); and even if they did, they don't have the time to give...for free! Time is money. And well, my time is really expensive. I charge myself $100--an HOUR! That helps compensate for the arguably low wage I earn at my day job. Thus the ~10 hours of planting and watering I've put into each of my four tomato plants is going to cost me $1,000. Shit. On the other hand, I can afford it because I pay myself so well.

But seriously, if you factor in the labor that you force yourself to do for the inflated wage you charge yourself, it is less expensive to buy from a farmers' market. You know what's cheaper than that? Going to the mega-Grocery store that is down the block and open 24/7 and buying a can of ValueTime green beans with ham for $0.40 or whatever.

Never mind the fact that replacing White House lawn with an organic vegetable garden is a HUGE symbolic gesture promoting environmentally-friendly landscaping while challenging the passe mowed-grass aesthetic, climate change, the global food structure, and post-War agriculture... Whatevs.

I wrote a better and more mature response that will hopefully be found in the comments section of that particular post and you can read it there. I will, however, quote myself for writing this: "I think it's a poor excuse to say that by doing something for yourself you are depriving someone else of a living. It's like defending littering because someone gets paid to pick it up."

Overall, it's all about priorities and mine rest at home, with my family, surrounded by a garden that we grew out of love and willingness to do good work there. Boo-ya.

Laughter is the best medicine

Holy crap, I need to stop reading these funny blogs at work. I keep reading and suppressing laughter until I can't stand it, then avert my eyes to the Wild & Scenic: Ohio calendar handing on my wall to trick my brain into thinking nothing is funny, but everything is serene and calm. These rhododendrons...

Anyways, here are a few blogs and choice posts that have really made an impression on me. I need to warn you, much of the humor is crude, but I figured the least I could do is share them in a very passive way, without much confrontation, and let you, dear reader, decide what's best. Here are some gems, in no particular order.

The Wind In Your Vagina--a blog with a title that has a little bit of context, written by a young dad that calls himself Black Hockey Jesus. A delightful post: Old Spice Puberty Day. Honestly, it's not as offensive as it sounds.

Steam Me Up, Kid... -- I don't know much about the author, but she is crass. This is the first post I read and a good starting point, in my opinion. It might also be a good stopping point for many of you: Also, sunscreen. Also, don't get AIDS.

Motherhood in NYC. I've gathered that this woman is from Russia. Some funny quips up in this. Again, this is the first post I read: Your Majesty

A well-earned chill

Dolla dolla bills y'all

More than ever in my life I've been enjoying professional basketball. It started with following the Cavs this season and has continued through to The Finals. During tonight's game, an announcer noted a particular player's contract--in this case: $22 million over five years. C went to the computer and found--to no one's surprise--Lebron James makes an estimated $14mil/year on the court plus $13mil/year off of the court (source: unsubstantiated internet site). Re-donk-u-lous.

Of course this conversation is old. I guess as a newcomer to pro sports normality, I'm not yet numb to the scale of those numbers. Really, I can't even imagine the fullness of that amount of money. But sadly, I occasionally yearn for a slice of pie so big. It's hard to not.

It's part Nature: to gather, hoard, provide, and succeed (in the Darwinian sense); it's part Nurture: to compete, excel, and work our way up the social ladder in a society that historically measures success and happiness in money earned and spent. Providing for your family and friends is a good feeling, so it's obvious we would want a lot of resources so we can share with the people we love. Selfish and un-selfish at the same time.

But how much is too much? We currently have so much more than MOST people in the world will ever have. That's pretty dumb-founding and heart-breaking too.
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Update:
My dad sent me a link to this article about the top-paid athletes. I didn't even want to read it but couldn't avoid seeing this number: $110mil/year for Tiger Wood ::barf::
Article here (copy to browser): http://sports.yahoo.com/top/news?slug=ys-forbestopearners061809&prov=yhoo&type=lgns

good work, photos

lamb's ear, sage

squash

sugar snap peas

lettuce

tomatoes

homegrown strawberries

deconstruction

Short and pointless story(-ies)

Sunday I lost my chain when I biked down to the corner store for some milk. Crazy. Like, I hit a bump and my chain popped off. Fortunately (1) it was after turning into a parking lot from a busy street; (2) the chain didn't jam up the cog or crank AND I didn't get thrown from my bike only to serve my neighbors some brain soup; and (3) I had a front brake to get myself stopped. Coincidentally I didn't have any tools with me (unlike usual) so I had to walk home with the bike over my shoulder. I did give the frame and chain a good cleaning when I got home and made sure the chain was as tight as possible.

Tonight we'll be eating the first meal of sugar snap ("spring") peas from the garden. The first of many. I think I might cut out a head of Romaine lettuce, also, to help counteract the disastrous health effects of the really tasty pizza we'll be eating tonight.

I've really been enjoying Leinenkugel's Classic Amber beer. Good stuff.

Today I participated in a brainstorming session with a gaggle of third-grade teachers who are developing a curriculum that focuses on a local watershed. I was invited as an "expert" environmental scientist. In fact, my name tag identified me as a "wetlands expert." Kinda fun. I was the only "expert" who stayed for the free box lunch--haha. It didn't mean much but fa'sho that will be put on my resume. Not the free lunch, but the "wetlands expert" part.

I need to give C all credit for instigating construction on what will be the bomb-est patio in all of Columbus. The project is expected to be completed before the close of Summer '09. Byah!

I'm getting fascinated with pregnancy. One of the women I was grouped with all morning is one week from exploding--err, giving birth. Crazy to think about.

Lots of work this week including what could amount to a 16 hour day trip to Kentucky. Unfortunately this means limited time for blogging and miscellaneous net-working.

Ayy let me twitter dat!

Movies, garden

Watched "He's Just Not That Into You" last night. It was cute, and cool to see an "all-star" cast like that. Less of a movie, more of a public service announcement, but they were able to spin a few feel-good plots out. Not sure how it may have compared to any of the books of the same title. I guess there were some take home messages: dating sucks because most people suck...err, are inconsiderate and self-centered; Ben Affleck is dreamy, but not as dreamy as I; I am not too dreamy and wish I was both more creative and assertive...

It was leagues better than "New In Town."

Big ups to Red Box and $1.09 DVD rentals. I've definitely been enjoying hanging with C (and Alden) on the couch for a couple hours in front of a movie--something we never really did much before dollar rentals. And honestly, it's better than watching TV which can be pretty redundant if not pointless, especially with all the same commercials.
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Lots of (not-sweet) strawberries coming out of the garden, starting last week. Also, sugar snap peas are about full on. Unfortunately they have grown about 1.5' beyond the crappy trellises I built and are starting to completely bend over--not the plants, the trellises. Lettuce is super happy. Spinach is spent and going to seed. Tomatoes are getting huge, and so are all three squash plants. My jalapeno pepper is slowly getting established. Chamomile is starting to take off also.

Old Old-School

I was thinking about how some of the stuff that I think is cool is basically just regressive and nostalgic in essence. You know? I don't mean like mustaches or aviator sunglasses or popped collars or whatever. I mean like bigger scale, not-ironic kind-of stuff. For example, organic agriculture and small, family farms: like I said before, these are throw-backs to pre-War farming methods. What else? Cycling: essentially unchanged since it's invention in the 1800's (unlike the automobile which was developed around the same time). Environmentalism: basically a way of life before Industrialism. Whole foods: came before mass-production, processing, and packaging.

Strangely, all these things tend to connect, I guess under the umbrella of pre-Industrialism environmentalism. Straight up conservatism. 'Ism for shizzim.